Since then I’ve been feeling okay, but definitely going back and forth between breaking it off. I have put a lot of time and effort into this and don’t want to just throw it all away but I’m also really over being disregarded (this isn’t the first time a situation like this has happened), as well as experiencing a double standard. For example, a few months ago he threatened to break up with me in in public because I wanted to go to a different party. I asked him to come with me and he didn’t want to because it wasn’t his scene. Same thing happened last New Years when I wanted to go out with my friends and got another threat of breaking up since it was “last minute”. Each time I stayed back with him.
Because the researchers ethically could not bring in a real woman to act as a temptation, they created a virtual-reality game in which two out of four rooms included subliminal images of an attractive woman. Most of the men who had practiced resisting temptation stayed away from the rooms with attractive women; but among men who had not practiced resistance, two out of three gravitated toward the temptation room.
Like other women in my social circle, I have certain demands for a potential mate. He doesn't have to make much more than I do, but he must be doing at least as well as I am, and has to be compatible with me, both morally and spiritually ... He should also own an apartment instead of us buying one together. Remember what Virginia Wolf [sic] said? Every woman should have a room of her own.
The common theme of the advice here was “Be pragmatic.” If the wife is a lawyer and spends 50 hours at the office every week, and the husband is an artist and can work from home most days, it makes more sense for him to handle most of the day-to-day parenting duties. If the wife’s standard of cleanliness looks like a Home & Garden catalog, and the husband has gone six months without even noticing the light fixture hanging from the ceiling, then it makes sense that the wife handles more of the home cleaning duties.
Then I heard someone moving about in the living room. I was even more scared now, there were two of them? I grabbed my pepper spray from my handbag that I keep by the door and walked up to the living room door. I screamed at the top of my lungs that they'd better get out by the fire escape or I'd shoot. Again bluffing, I only had pepper spray and no gun. I heard some commotion in the room, and the window by the fire escape creaking open, and then silence. Once it had been quiet for a while, I went into the room, now empty, and locked the open window. I was shaking and scared shitless still, and I puked from the stress.

Hey, guess what? I got married two weeks ago. And like most people, I asked some of the older and wiser folks around me for a couple quick words of advice from their own marriages to make sure my wife and I didn’t shit the (same) bed. I think most newlyweds do this, especially after a few cocktails from the open bar they just paid way too much money for.
You can even say we're living through a worldwide Introvert Revolution. Just look at the success of self-proclaimed introvert Susan Cain's wildly popular book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking. Her book has sold millions of copies worldwide, a TEDtalk she gave on the topic has been viewed over 19,294,447 times and counting, and she reportedly gets paid five-figures for a single appearance. 
That’s because love, while making us feel all giddy and high as if we had just snorted a shoebox full of cocaine, makes us highly irrational. We all know that guy (or girl) who dropped out of school, sold their car, and spent the money to elope on the beaches of Tahiti. We all also know that that guy (or girl) ended up sulking back a few years later feeling like a moron, not to mention broke.

Researchers have found that the love we feel in our most committed relationships is typically a combination of two or three different forms of love. But often, two people in the same relationship can have very different versions of how they define love. Dr. Hatkoff gives the example of a man and woman having dinner. The waiter flirts with the woman, but the husband doesn’t seem to notice, and talks about changing the oil in her car. The wife is upset her husband isn’t jealous. The husband feels his extra work isn’t appreciated.
And the only thing that can save you and your partner, that can cushion you both to the hard landing of human fallibility, is an unerring respect for one another, the fact that you hold each other in high esteem, believe in one another—often more than you each believe in yourselves—and trust that your partner is doing his/her best with what they’ve got.
The common theme of the advice here was “Be pragmatic.” If the wife is a lawyer and spends 50 hours at the office every week, and the husband is an artist and can work from home most days, it makes more sense for him to handle most of the day-to-day parenting duties. If the wife’s standard of cleanliness looks like a Home & Garden catalog, and the husband has gone six months without even noticing the light fixture hanging from the ceiling, then it makes sense that the wife handles more of the home cleaning duties.
By waiting and waiting and waiting to commit to someone, our capacity for love shrinks and withers. This doesn't mean that women or men should marry the first reasonable person to come along, or someone with whom they are not in love. But we should, at a much earlier age than we do now, take a serious attitude toward dating and begin preparing ourselves to settle down. For it's in the act of taking up the roles we've been taught to avoid or postpone––wife, husband, mother, father––that we build our identities, expand our lives, and achieve the fullness of character we desire.
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