Marriage researcher John Gottman has built an entire career out of studying how couples interact. He learned that even in a laboratory setting, couples are willing to air their disagreements even when scientists are watching and the cameras are rolling. From that research, he developed a system of coding words and gestures that has been shown to be highly predictive of a couple’s chance of success or risk for divorce or breakup. 
It’s very easy to send one course back (or even one after another, after another, after another) when the menu is overflowing with other potential courses. The US Association of Psychological Science found that reviewing multiple candidates causes people to be more judgmental, and inclined to dismiss a not-quite-perfect candidate than they otherwise would be in a face-to-face meeting.
On top of that, many couples suggested laying out rules for the relationship. This sounds cheesy, but ultimately, it’s practical. To what degree will you share finances? How much debt will be taken on or paid off? How much can each person spend without consulting the other? What purchases should be done together or do you trust each other to do separately? How do you decide which vacations to go on?
While I’m at work I told him to pick up his things and leave the keys behind. When I got back he left a break up letter on my desk. He blamed me for his relapsing painkiller addiction (which was something that I never participated in). It didn’t make sense. I emailed him an apology for my shortcomings and made my peace. He returned with more hostility. I stopped replying.
beach beautiful camping caring children country down to earth drama easy going eyes family fishing free friend friends fun funny games guy happy heart home honest humor kids kind lady laid back laugh life live love loving loyal man meet movies music nice open outdoors outgoing pretty reading real relationship romantic sense of humor serious share shy simple single special sports sweet the outdoors time travel up walks woman women work working
Online dating services are becoming increasingly prevalent worldwide. They charge a fee to enable a user to post a profile of himself or herself, perhaps using video or still images as well as descriptive data and personal preferences for dating, such as age range, hobbies, and so forth. Online dating is a $2 billion per year business, as of 2014, with an annual growth rate of 5%. The industry is dominated by a few large companies, such as EHarmony, Zoosk and InterActiveCorp, or IAC, which owns several brands including Match.com and OkCupid. However new entrants continue to emerge.[163]
Two years ago, I suddenly began resenting my wife for any number of reasons. I felt as if we were floating along, doing a great job of co-existing and co-parenting, but not sustaining a real connection. It deteriorated to the point that I considered separating from her; however, whenever I gave the matter intense thought, I could not pinpoint a single issue that was a deal breaker. I knew her to be an amazing person, mother, and friend. I bit my tongue a lot and held out hope that the malaise would pass as suddenly as it had arrived. Fortunately, it did and I love her more than ever. So the final bit of wisdom is to afford your spouse the benefit of the doubt. If you have been happy for such a long period, that is the case for good reason. Be patient and focus on the many aspects of her that still exist that caused you to fall in love in the first place.

Humans have been compared to other species in terms of sexual behavior. Neurobiologist Robert Sapolsky constructed a reproductive spectrum with opposite poles being tournament species, in which males compete fiercely for reproductive privileges with females, and pair bond arrangements, in which a male and female will bond for life.[4] According to Sapolsky, humans are somewhat in the middle of this spectrum, in the sense that humans form pair bonds, but there is the possibility of cheating or changing partners.[4] These species-particular behavior patterns provide a context for aspects of human reproduction, including dating. However, one particularity of the human species is that pair bonds are often formed without necessarily having the intention of reproduction. In modern times, emphasis on the institution of marriage, generally described as a male-female bond, has obscured pair bonds formed by same-sex and transgender couples, and that many heterosexual couples also bond for life without offspring, or that often pairs that do have offspring separate. Thus, the concept of marriage is changing widely in many countries.

Even partners who love each other can be a mismatch, sexually. Mary Jo Fay, author of Please Dear, Not Tonight, says a lack of sexual self-awareness and education worsens these problems. But having sex is one of the last things you should give up, Fay says. "Sex," she says, "brings us closer together, releases hormones that help our bodies both physically and mentally, and keeps the chemistry of a healthy couple healthy."
Love is one of the most profound emotions known to human beings. There are many kinds of love, but most people seek its expression in a romantic relationship with a compatible partner. For many, romantic relationships comprise the most meaningful aspect of life, providing a source of deep fulfillment. The need for human connection appears to be innate, but the ability to form healthy, loving relationships is learned. A great deal of evidence suggests that the ability to form a stable relationship begins in infancy, in a child's earliest experiences with a caregiver who reliably meets the infant's needs for food, care, warmth, protection, stimulation, and social contact. Such relationships are not destiny, but they appear to establish deeply ingrained patterns of relating to others. Failed relationships happen for many reasons, and the failure of a relationship is often a source of great psychological anguish. Most people have to work consciously to master the skills necessary to make relationships endure and flourish. 
The first two suggestions are self-explanatory, but let’s take some time to explore the third step: talking to your partner about sex. Dr. Hatfield of the University of Hawaii is one of the pioneers of relationship science. She developed the Passionate Love scale we explored earlier in this guide. When Dr. Hatfield conducted a series of interviews with men and women about their sexual desires, she discovered that men and women have much more in common than they realize, they just tend not to talk about sex with each other. Here’s a simple exercise based on Dr. Hatfield’s research that could have a huge impact on your sex life: 
Online dating is really popular. Using the internet is really popular. A survey conducted in 2013 found that 77% of people considered it “very important” to have their smartphones with them at all times. With the rise and rise of apps like Tinder (and the various copycat models) who could blame them.  If you want to think about dating as a numbers game (and apparently many people do), you could probably swipe left/right between 10 – 100 times in the span of time that it would take you to interact with one potential date in ‘real-life’.
Where there is communication, there are usually many chances to find common ground. Thus, success in almost any kind of flirting and romance is possible. So, why not check the accuracy of this rule via our dating site? Meet people in your area, join flirty conversations in our chatrooms, date online and have fun! Share the true joy of singles websites with dozens of people, who seek flirting, friendship and love online! Take your first step to finding your own destiny with our help!
Each year, November 11 has become an unofficial holiday[87] known as China's Singles' Day when singles are encouraged to make an extra effort to find a partner.[88] Worried parents of unmarried children often arrange dates for their offspring on this day as well as others.[88] Before the day approaches, thousands of college students and young workers post messages describing their plans for this day. In Arabic numerals, the day looks like "1111", that is, "like four single people standing together", and there was speculation that it originated in the late 1990s when college students celebrated being single with "a little self-mockery"[87] but a differing explanation dates it back to events in the Roman Empire.[87] For many, Singles' Day offers people a way to "demonstrate their stance on love and marriage.[87]
beach beautiful camping caring children country down to earth drama easy going eyes family fishing free friend friends fun funny games guy happy heart home honest humor kids kind lady laid back laugh life live love loving loyal man meet movies music nice open outdoors outgoing pretty reading real relationship romantic sense of humor serious share shy simple single special sports sweet the outdoors time travel up walks woman women work working
Most Koreans tend to regard dating as a precursor to marriage. According to a survey conducted by Gyeonggi-do Family Women's Researcher on people of age 26-44, 85.7% of respondents replied as ‘willing to get married’. There is no dating agency but the market for marriage agencies are growing continuously.[116] DUO and Gayeon are one of the major marriage agencies in Korea. Also, "Mat-sun", the blind date which is usually based on the premise of marriage, is held often among ages of late 20s to 30s.[117] But the late trend is leaning towards the separation between dating and marriage unlike the conservative ways of the past.[118] In the survey conducted by a marriage agency, of 300 single males and females who were asked of their opinions on marrying their lovers, about only 42% of the males and 39% of the females said yes.[119] There are also cases of dating without the premise of marriage. However, the majority still takes getting into a relationship seriously.
How it works:  To be honest, there aren't that many places where people who are more introspective can congregate in the outside world. That kind of goes against the idea of being shy. Sure there are clubs and parities, but if you're really shy it's nearly impossible to meet anyone there. This website is the solution. The website's matching system uses your preferences, location, and interests to match you with others. It even offers expert tips to help you overcome your shyness.  
Most other over 50 dating sites will only show you profiles of people who live close by. SilverSingles does more. All of our members take a personality test so that we can get to know them better - this helps us pair people up based on their compatibilty. Location is important of course, but knowing you're a good fit with your matches makes finding 'the one' much, much easier.
One of the best ways to make sure your sex life stays robust in a long relationship is to have a lot of sex early in the relationship. A University of Georgia study of more than 90,000 women in 19 countries in Asia, Africa and the Americas found that the longer a couple is married, the less often they have sex, but that the decline appears to be relative to how much sex they were having when they first coupled. Here’s a look at frequency of married sex comparing the first year of marriage with the 10th year of marriage.

The problem with a lot of online dating applications is that they don’t really work. Many are just ‘fad’ applications that squeeze money from punters with no intention of matching you with a suitable partner. Before you throw caution to the wind and empty your wallet into the pockets of an online app with the reckless abandon of a love-struck teenager, there are a few things you should know.


Love is one of the most profound emotions known to human beings. There are many kinds of love, but most people seek its expression in a romantic relationship with a compatible partner. For many, romantic relationships comprise the most meaningful aspect of life, providing a source of deep fulfillment. The need for human connection appears to be innate, but the ability to form healthy, loving relationships is learned. A great deal of evidence suggests that the ability to form a stable relationship begins in infancy, in a child's earliest experiences with a caregiver who reliably meets the infant's needs for food, care, warmth, protection, stimulation, and social contact. Such relationships are not destiny, but they appear to establish deeply ingrained patterns of relating to others. Failed relationships happen for many reasons, and the failure of a relationship is often a source of great psychological anguish. Most people have to work consciously to master the skills necessary to make relationships endure and flourish. 
Like other women in my social circle, I have certain demands for a potential mate. He doesn't have to make much more than I do, but he must be doing at least as well as I am, and has to be compatible with me, both morally and spiritually ... He should also own an apartment instead of us buying one together. Remember what Virginia Wolf [sic] said? Every woman should have a room of her own.
Try going out with the people you love and care about the most — watch movies together, go out to eat, take a day off from your busy life and just enjoy being you! If it helps, also talk about your feelings about the relationships in your life. If you just want them to listen, start by telling them that. Then ask what makes relationships good and what makes them bad? Along the way, if you need advice, feel free to contact us. We’re here to help 24/7.
It’s estimated that about 15 percent of married couples have not had sex with their spouse in the last six months to one year.  Some sexless marriages started out with very little sex. Others in sexless marriages say childbirth or an affair led to a slowing and eventually stopping of sex. People in sexless marriages are generally less happy and more likely to have considered divorce than those who have regular sex with their spouse or committed partner.
The prospect of love often entails anxiety, sometimes with a fear of commitment [51] and a fear of intimacy for persons of both sexes.[52] One woman said "being really intimate with someone in a committed sense is kind of threatening" and described love as "the most terrifying thing."[53] In her Psychology Today column, research scientist, columnist, and author Debby Herbenick compared it to a roller coaster:
A new format of Internet "QQ" chat rooms is gaining ground against so-called "traditional dating agencies" in Changsha (Hunan Province); the QQ rooms have 20,000 members, and service is much less expensive than dating agencies which can charge 100 to 200 yuan ($13 to $26 USD) per introduction.[79] Internet dating, with computer-assisted matchmaking, is becoming more prevalent; one site supposedly has 23 million registered users.[80] Speed dating has come to Shanghai and other cities.[81][82] Worldwide online matchmakers have explored entering the Chinese market via partnerships or acquisitions.[83]
My opinion about why personality is not the best way to go alone. first off as a man of almost 50yrs I have to say dating women based solely on personality doesn't not work. Birds and other animals don't just choose buy looks so neither should humans. I tried many of the so called online dating sites and I tried meeting in real places. Online dating is a true fantasy of BS. Lets be honest to ourselves. When you are out looking in the real world you have specific things you are looking for before you even get to personality. That could range from eyes to legs breasts or bottoms and in most cases all of the above. This is a part of dating that has been omitted by all online dating sites who claim to be the real deal when it comes to love. In reality this is a pure fantasy made of lies created by magazines and polls most don't have the guts to answer truthfully. For example, Size doesn't matter.... BS. I don't care who you are size does matter in one way or another and I don't mean just the sex parts. Just like other animals in the world humans have the things that attract and using an algorithm based on just a couple of people isn't going to find anyone true love because it is already breaking the number one rule of dating. You are beginning on a lie but in our day of political correctness people have been led to believe they can find true love based on questions about personality only and showing a few pictures. Be honest and admit the truth, if you like big butts you are looking for a woman with that feature first and foremost. Same goes for women, the only true statement out there in the online dating world is there is someone for everyone. Problem is as long as we are offended by our choices of body type no one is going to find permanent true love. Even if it works out in getting married this is likely not going to last as you are denying one of the primal instincts you hunt with. Granted you will have to settle in some ways but your basic types are not what you are truly happy settling for. Example for me? I look for Eyes, boobs and legs before approaching a woman. Then I look for personality honesty and baggage. Last I look to see how much she indulges in drinking, food, smoking and drugs. If this woman meets those basic traits then I ask her out. If she is missing just one of those basic things I pass on her because they are essential to my happiness. Then it is her turn on my part, I must match her idea of perfect match. In reality, none of these things are accepted as true choices for online dating. Size does matter for everything and there is no way curvy is another word for obese to be blunt. Every person has a range of acceptable and not one of these sites allows you to use what really matters to each and every person out there. Even fetish sites devoted to the more grotesque aspects of the dating personality barely skim what it takes to really find what you are looking for. In honesty people should not be ashamed of what they have. This is something society has posed as how it should be and that is a total lie. If I want a woman with a bra size of DD or bigger I should be able to list that with no discrimination just like eye color. Love is not a general thing and neither should being able to profess what you are looking for if you truly want to find your match. If you are a person who is ashamed of what you have being described then you shouldn't be surprised when you get something you don't really want. I can't be anymore blunt than this. Those women offended by what a man wants or men feeling the same should really take into consideration and be honest with yourselves that it hurts much more in the long run not starting out with what you want being honest up front than having each of your expectations destroyed by the lies we do now. Best example is breast size and nipple size for women and penis size for men. If I am on a date with a woman wearing a pushup bra or a bra consealing her true nipple size, she is going to hate me very much when I get that thing off of her. I don't do lies and this to me is worse than a lie. She would be dumped right then and there. Same goes with if I put a sock in my pants to make it bigger, do you honestly think the woman who chooses me is going to stay once the truth is exposed? Hell no she won't. So why be offended by body types being listed with parts? I find that more shallow than being honest. I don't want to be with a woman who really wants a huge penis because this will affect her sexually and emotionally accepting me for my 5 1/4 inch. So in the same manner why should a woman want me to accept her for having breasts or other parts that don't match my expectations just to get her personality. This is going to affect both personalities in the long run and ruin what you have which is why I said this is the same as starting based on a lie.

Although we are attracted to people who are very different from us in the way we deal with the world, we are most attracted to others who have a similar focus in their lives. Couples who have the same dominant function in their personalities seems to have the longest and happiest relationships. So, for example, an individual whose dominant function is Introverted Sensing (ISTJ or ISFJ) seems to be naturally drawn towards partners with a dominant function of Extraverted Sensing (ESTP or ESFP).
How it helps introverts: eharmony has a feature called RelyID that helps verify the information provided by other members, like their name, city, and age. You know what that means? No catfishing. Also, your profile is only visible to the people who are a good match for you, so the experience can help to narrow your potentials down to only those who are actually a good fit. 

Even though every relationship has its ups and downs, successful couples have learned how to manage the bumps and keep their love life going, says marriage and family therapist Mitch Temple, author of The Marriage Turnaround. They hang in there, tackle problems, and learn how to work through the complex issues of everyday life. Many do this by reading self-help books and articles, attending seminars, going to counseling, observing other successful couples, or simply using trial and error.

While people tend to date others close to their own age, it's possible for older men to date younger women. In many countries, the older-man-younger-woman arrangement is seen as permissible, sometimes with benefits. It's looked on more positively in the U.S. than in China; older men are described as more knowledgeable sexually and intellectually, supportive, skilled in the ways of women, and financially more secure so there's "no more going Dutch."[185] In China, older men with younger women are more likely to be described as "weird uncles" rather than "silver foxes."[185] One Beijing professor reportedly advised his male students to delay dating:

A series of unusual studies led by John Lydon, a psychologist at McGill University in Montreal, looked at how people in a committed relationship react in the face of temptation. In one study, highly committed married men and women were asked to rate the attractiveness of people of the opposite sex in a series of photos. Not surprisingly, they gave the highest ratings to people who would typically be viewed as attractive.
One report suggested the United States as well as other western-oriented countries were different from the rest of the world because "love is the reason for mating," as opposed to marriages being arranged to cement economic and class ties between families and promote political stability.[5] Dating, by mutual consent of two single people, is the norm. British writer Kira Cochrane, after moving to the U.S., found herself grappling with the American approach to dating.[140] She wondered why it was acceptable to juggle "10 potential partners" while weighing different attributes; she found American-style dating to be "exhausting and strange."[140] She found dating in America to be "organized in a fairly formal fashion" with men approaching women and asking point blank for a date; she found this to be "awkward."[140] She described the "third date rule" which was that women weren't supposed to have sex until the third date even if they desired it, although men were supposed to try for sex.[141] She wrote: "Dating rules almost always cast the man as aggressor, and the woman as prey, which frankly makes me feel nauseous."[141] Canadian writer Danielle Crittenden, however, chronicling female angst, criticized a tendency not to take dating seriously and suggested that postponing marriage into one's thirties was problematic:[142]
In the twentieth century, dating was sometimes seen as a precursor to marriage but it could also be considered as an end-in-itself, that is, an informal social activity akin to friendship. It generally happened in that portion of a person's life before the age of marriage,[10] but as marriage became less permanent with the advent of divorce, dating could happen at other times in peoples lives as well. People became more mobile.[11] Rapidly developing technology played a huge role: new communication technology such as the telephone,[12] Internet[13] and text messaging[14] enabled dates to be arranged without face-to-face contact. Cars extended the range of dating as well as enabled back-seat sexual exploration. In the mid-twentieth century, the advent of birth control as well as safer procedures for abortion changed the equation considerably, and there was less pressure to marry as a means for satisfying sexual urges. New types of relationships formed; it was possible for people to live together without marrying and without children. Information about human sexuality grew, and with it an acceptance of all types of sexual orientations is becoming more common. Today, the institution of dating continues to evolve at a rapid rate with new possibilities and choices opening up particularly through online dating.
Over the course of 20 years we both have changed tremendously. We have changed faiths, political parties, numerous hair colors and styles, but we love each other and possibly even more. Our grown kids constantly tell their friends what hopeless romantics we are. And the biggest thing that keeps us strong is not giving a fuck about what anyone else says about our relationship.
Susan breaks this down using a form of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. She explains that couples who are functioning on the lowest level — survival— often stay together out of necessity. Couples functioning at the highest level— actualization—are not only making one another happy, but also helping each other grow in the right direction, so they tend to stay together, too.
^ Brenda Wilson (June 8, 2009). "Sex Without Intimacy: No Dating, No Relationships". National Public Radio. Retrieved 2010-12-08. Marriage is often the last thing on the minds of young people leaving college today. "My first few years out of college was about trying to get on my feet and having a good time," Welsh says. Dating and a relationship interfered with that.
There are conflicting reports about dating in China's capital city. One account suggests that the dating scene in Beijing is "sad" with particular difficulties for expatriate women hoping to find romance.[84] One explanation was that there are more native Chinese women, who seem to be preferred by Chinese men, and that expat women are seen as "foreigners" by comparison.[84] According to the 2006 report, expat Chinese men have better luck in the Beijing dating scene.[84] A different report, however, suggested that Chinese men preferred Western women, whom they consider to be more independent, less girlish, and more straightforward than Chinese women.[85] Another account suggested that western women in Beijing seem invisible and have trouble attracting Chinese men.[86]
Scams have been around as long as the internet (possibly even before…). Of course there are pitfalls and tripwires in every sphere of life, but this may be particularly true in the context of online dating. There are literally hundreds (if not thousands) of online scams, and I’m not going to run through any in detail here, but do some research before you go giving your bank details to ‘Nigerian princes’ promising ‘fun moments’. As a matter of fact, you should probably be wary of any person, group or entity asking for any kind of financial or personal information. It might even be advisable to follow these general guidelines:
The practice of dating runs against some religious traditions, and the radical Hindu group Sri Ram Sena threatened to "force unwed couples" to marry, if they were discovered dating on Valentine's Day; a fundamentalist leader said "drinking and dancing in bars and celebrating this day has nothing to do with Hindu traditions."[105] The threat sparked a protest via the Internet which resulted in cartloads of pink panties being sent to the fundamentalist leader's office.[105] as part of the Pink Chaddi Campaign (Pink Underwear/Panties Campaign). Another group, Akhil Bharatiya Hindu Mahasabha, threatened to do the same, for which it was severely mocked online[106] and on the day after Valentine's Day, had protesters outside its Delhi headquarters, with people (mockingly) complaining that it did not fulfill its "promise",[107] with some having come with materials for the wedding rituals. 

Very attractive translates as big-headed ... Average build means a bit paunchy ... 5ft 10 is actually 5ft 7 and a half ... The picture is always taken from the best, most flattering angle ... Black and white photos mean I am pretentious or I've something to hide ... Anyone who writes in text speak or says I heart instead of I like should be avoided ... Ditto for people whose interests include feet.
When it comes to internet dating, a lot are going on in the other side, i was ripped off once but didn't get to far. my friend introduce me to an hacker, who helped me reveal the guy i fell for, he hacker his email, phone and social media, i got to know i was been played on by a black guy from Africa. know who you are talking to before wasting your time and money. contact hackdemon4 at g mail. com. tell him Katie referred you
So that’s that, I come home at half past 11, and he’s ignoring me while he’s gaming. I sit around for a while waiting for him to acknowledge me he finally turns around, I ask “why are you so pissed off?” He suddenly starts screaming about how I don’t know my limits and going out doesn’t have to be till 12 am, how I don’t care about him and how he’s worrying about me and I’m a selfish person, etc. I don’t say anything for a while and then I ask him to calm down. He says he can not and I go to sleep hoping he’ll come to his senses tomorrow.
As a dating site, eHarmony has a reputation for being old-fashioned and marriage-oriented, and it likes it that way. “Do you want fast or forever?” one of its TV commercials asks. Like we mentioned, eHarmony and Match.com, are neck and neck for the most marriages, with eHarmony eking out the top spot by 0.7 percentage point. BTW: eHarmony is the most expensive of sites tested.
The relationship researcher Arthur Aron, a psychology professor who directs the Interpersonal Relationships Laboratory at the State University of New York at Stony Brook, has found a way. The secret? Do something new and different -- and make sure you do it together. New experiences activate the brain’s reward system, flooding it with dopamine and norepinephrine. These are the same brain circuits that are ignited in early romantic love. Whether you take a pottery class or go on a white-water rafting trip, activating your dopamine systems while you are together can help bring back the excitement you felt on your first date. In studies of couples, Dr. Aron has found that partners who regularly share new experiences report greater boosts in marital happiness than those who simply share pleasant but familiar experiences.
The research indicates that men are initially attracted to a women's looks and women are ultimately attracted to a man's income/stability he may provide. So it's hardly surprising that both try to bend reality in order to entice the "ideal" mate. Superficial I know and sadly, it is the same all over the world (albeit with different degrees of sophistication).
One of the best ways to make sure your sex life stays robust in a long relationship is to have a lot of sex early in the relationship. A University of Georgia study of more than 90,000 women in 19 countries in Asia, Africa and the Americas found that the longer a couple is married, the less often they have sex, but that the decline appears to be relative to how much sex they were having when they first coupled. Here’s a look at frequency of married sex comparing the first year of marriage with the 10th year of marriage.
Gay rights groups have complained that certain websites that restrict their dating services to heterosexual couples are discriminating against homosexuals. Homosexual customers of the popular eHarmony dating website have made many attempts to litigate discriminatory practices.[36] eHarmony was sued in 2007 by a lesbian claiming that "[s]uch outright discrimination is hurtful and disappointing for a business open to the public in this day and age."[37] In light of discrimination by sexual orientation by dating websites, some services such as GayDar.net and Chemistry.com cater more to homosexual dating.
^ Madden, Mary; Lenhart, Amanda (September 2005). "Online Dating: Americans who are seeking romance use the internet to help them in their search, but there is still widespread public concern about the safety of online dating". Pew Internet & American Life Project. Retrieved 2010-12-08. Online daters tend to identify with more liberal social attitudes, compared with all Americans or all internet users.
No, I’m talking some pretty serious life changes. Remember, if you’re going to spend decades together, some really heavy shit will hit (and break) the fan. Among major life changes people told me their marriages went through (and survived): changing religions, moving countries, death of family members (including children), supporting elderly family members, changing political beliefs, even changing sexual orientation, and in a couple cases, gender identification.
There is a general perception that men and women approach dating differently, hence the reason why advice for each sex varies greatly, particularly when dispensed by popular magazines. For example, it is a common belief that heterosexual men often seek women based on beauty and youth.[43][44] Psychology researchers at the University of Michigan suggested that men prefer women who seem to be "malleable and awed", and prefer younger women with subordinate jobs such as secretaries and assistants and fact-checkers rather than executive-type women.[45] Online dating patterns suggest that men are more likely to initiate online exchanges (over 75%) and extrapolate that men are less "choosy", seek younger women, and "cast a wide net".[22] In a similar vein, the stereotype for heterosexual women is that they seek well-educated men who are their age or older with high-paying jobs.[43] Evolutionary psychology suggests that "women are the choosier of the genders" since "reproduction is a much larger investment for women" who have "more to lose by making bad choices."[46]

John Gottman is a hot-shit psychologist and researcher who has spent over 30 years analyzing married couples and looking for keys to why they stick together and why they break up. Chances are, if you’ve read any relationship advice article before, you’ve either directly or indirectly been exposed to his work. When it comes to, “Why do people stick together?“ he dominates the field.

I’ve also been having very bad mood swings for 2 months since I need a change in medication and he’s been honestly helping me out so much it’s insane, he didn’t get mad when I would do dumb things like invade his personal space because of paranoia or starting fights over nothing where he would have to calm me down. He would just hug me and make me understand it’s just an episode I’m having and it’s okay. Point is he mentioned that too during his freak out and said I could’ve at least been him by 11 because of all that he’s done for me recently.


Sometimes couples become so focused on the relationship that they forget to invest in their relationships with friends and family. Researchers Naomi Gerstel of the University of Massachusetts, Amherst, and Natalia Sarkisian of Boston College have found that married couples have fewer ties to relatives than the unmarried. They are less likely to visit, call or help out family members, and less likely to socialize with neighbors and friends.
You can work through anything as long as you are not destroying yourself or each other. That means emotionally, physically, financially, or spiritually. Make nothing off limits to discuss. Never shame or mock each other for the things you do that make you happy. Write down why you fell in love and read it every year on your anniversary (or more often). Write love letters to each other often. Make each other first. When kids arrive, it will be easy to fall into a frenzy of making them the only focus of your life…do not forget the love that produced them. You must keep that love alive and strong to feed them love. Spouse comes first. Each of you will continue to grow. Bring the other one with you. Be the one that welcomes that growth. Don’t think that the other one will hold the relationship together. Both of you should assume it’s up to you so that you are both working on it. Be passionate about cleaning house, preparing meals, and taking care of your home. This is required of everyone daily, make it fun and happy and do it together. Do not complain about your partner to anyone. Love them for who they are. Make love even when you are not in the mood. Trust each other. Give each other the benefit of the doubt always. Be transparent. Have nothing to hide. Be proud of each other. Have a life outside of each other, but share it through conversation. Pamper and adore each other. Go to counseling now before you need it so that you are both open to working on the relationship together. Disagree with respect to each other’s feelings. Be open to change and accepting of differences. Print this and refer to it daily.
Edit: thank you for sharing what you have to say. I really appreciate it. I sent a text saying we need to talk and that I don’t deserve the treatment I’m getting. I’m assuming his phone is off and he’s under heavy influence of who knows what since he’s at a festival but hopefully he gets the message. I’m not sure if text was the right way but it felt like the only thing to do to calm my anxiety. 
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