Chinese-style flirtatiousness is termed sajiao (Chinese: 撒娇; pinyin: sājiāo), best described as "to unleash coquettishness" with feminine voice, tender gestures, and girlish protestations.[90] Chinese women expect to be taken care of (Chinese: 照顾; pinyin: zhàogu) by men like a baby girl is doted on by an attentive and admiring father.[90] They wish to be almost "spoiled" (Chinese: 惯; pinyin: guàn) by a man buying gifts, entertainment, and other indulgences.[90] It's a positive sign of heartache (Chinese: 心疼; pinyin: xīnténg) when a man feels compelled to do "small caring things" for a woman without being asked such as pouring a glass of water or offering a "piggyback ride if she's tired."[90] These are signs of love and accepted romantic notions in China, according to one source.[90]
Online dating is polluted with the same BS as normal dating. People are too busy looking for anything but regular, quality sex and they wonder why so many LTR/marriages suck and lack decent bang sessions. They actually prefer to trade low quality sex instead of going through the turmoil of rejecting all the notions that were implanted into their minds as children.

Everyone has an image in their mind of how a relationship should work. Both people share responsibilities. Both people manage to finely balance their time together with the time for themselves. Both pursue engaging and invigorating interests on their own and then share the benefits together. Both take turns cleaning the toilet and blowing each other and cooking gourmet lasagna for the extended family at Thanksgiving (although not all at the same time).

BUT, more importantly, this inability to let our partners be who they are, is a subtle form of disrespect. After all, if you can’t trust your husband to have a simple golfing trip with his buddies, or you’re afraid to let your wife go out for drinks after work, what does that say about your respect for their ability to handle themselves well? What does it say for your respect for yourself? I mean, after all, if you believe a couple after-work drinks is enough to steer your girlfriend away from you, you clearly don’t think too highly of yourself.


It’s very easy to send one course back (or even one after another, after another, after another) when the menu is overflowing with other potential courses. The US Association of Psychological Science found that reviewing multiple candidates causes people to be more judgmental, and inclined to dismiss a not-quite-perfect candidate than they otherwise would be in a face-to-face meeting.
By waiting and waiting and waiting to commit to someone, our capacity for love shrinks and withers. This doesn't mean that women or men should marry the first reasonable person to come along, or someone with whom they are not in love. But we should, at a much earlier age than we do now, take a serious attitude toward dating and begin preparing ourselves to settle down. For it's in the act of taking up the roles we've been taught to avoid or postpone––wife, husband, mother, father––that we build our identities, expand our lives, and achieve the fullness of character we desire.
Don't say you like hiking if you've never gone or haven't hiked in 20 years. If you LOVE working on cars and are a woman, say it! If you're a man and love gardening, say it! Here's the deal, you don't want someone to meet you thinking that you are someone you're really not — and of course, you wouldn't want someone to do that to you. If you're looking for something REAL, then BE REAL. You can't expect to find a lasting, loving relationship with trust and honesty unless you're honest about who you are.
Sometimes couples become so focused on the relationship that they forget to invest in their relationships with friends and family. Researchers Naomi Gerstel of the University of Massachusetts, Amherst, and Natalia Sarkisian of Boston College have found that married couples have fewer ties to relatives than the unmarried. They are less likely to visit, call or help out family members, and less likely to socialize with neighbors and friends. 

Singapore's largest dating service, SDU, Social Development Unit, is a government-run dating system. The original SDU, which controversially promoted marriages among university graduate singles, no longer exists today. On 28 January 2009, it was merged with SDS [Social Development Services], which just as controversially promoted marriages among non-graduate singles. The merged unit, SDN Social Development Network seeks to promote meaningful relationships, with marriage touted as a top life goal, among all resident [Singapore] singles within a conducive network environment of singles, relevant commercial and public entities.
Trust is like a china plate. If you drop it and it breaks, you can put it back together with a lot of work and care. If you drop it and break it a second time, it will split into twice as many pieces and it will require far more time and care to put back together again. But drop and break it enough times, and it will shatter into so many pieces that you will never be able to put it back together again, no matter what you do.
On any given dating site, the sex ratio is commonly unbalanced. A website may have two women for every man, but they may be in the 35+ range, while the men are generally under 35.[citation needed] Little is known about the sex ratio controlled for age. eHarmony's membership is about 57% female and 43% male,[30] whereas the ratio at Match.com is about the reverse of that. When one gets into the specialty niche websites where the primary demographic is male, one typically gets a very unbalanced ratio of male to female or female to male.[31] As of June 2015, 62% of Tinder users were male and 38% were female.[32]
By waiting and waiting and waiting to commit to someone, our capacity for love shrinks and withers. This doesn't mean that women or men should marry the first reasonable person to come along, or someone with whom they are not in love. But we should, at a much earlier age than we do now, take a serious attitude toward dating and begin preparing ourselves to settle down. For it's in the act of taking up the roles we've been taught to avoid or postpone––wife, husband, mother, father––that we build our identities, expand our lives, and achieve the fullness of character we desire.
Sometimes couples become so focused on the relationship that they forget to invest in their relationships with friends and family. Researchers Naomi Gerstel of the University of Massachusetts, Amherst, and Natalia Sarkisian of Boston College have found that married couples have fewer ties to relatives than the unmarried. They are less likely to visit, call or help out family members, and less likely to socialize with neighbors and friends.

But the problem is when all of the relationship’s happiness is contingent on the other person and both people are in a constant state of sacrifice. Just read that again. That sounds horrible. It reminds me of an old Marilyn Manson song, “Shoot myself to love you; if I loved myself, I’d be shooting you.” A relationship based on sacrifices cannot be sustained, and will eventually become damaging to both individuals in it.

Edit: thank you for sharing what you have to say. I really appreciate it. I sent a text saying we need to talk and that I don’t deserve the treatment I’m getting. I’m assuming his phone is off and he’s under heavy influence of who knows what since he’s at a festival but hopefully he gets the message. I’m not sure if text was the right way but it felt like the only thing to do to calm my anxiety.
A 2011 class action lawsuit alleged Match.com failed to remove inactive profiles, did not accurately disclose the number of active members, and does not police its site for fake profiles;[41] the inclusion of expired and spam profiles as valid served to both artificially inflate the total number of profiles and camouflage a skewed gender ratio in which active users were disproportionately single males.[42] The suit claimed up to 60 percent were inactive profiles, fake or fraudulent users.[43] Some of the spam profiles were alleged to be using images of porn actresses, models, or people from other dating sites.[44] Former employees alleged Match routinely and intentionally over-represented the number of active members on the website and a huge percentage were not real members but 'filler profiles'.[45]
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